Baby X

Welcome to the secret Baby X web page. She was born on the 6th June 2002 at 23.42pm. And a fine baby she is, as you can see.

She doesn't yet have a name, she is known as Baby X until the expensive and complex naming process is complete.

Being a mystery baby is a tough job, but someone has to do it. And Baby X is the girl for the job.

Baby X started her life in Jorvi hospital. This is her kitted out in regulation issue Jorvi togs, including green blouse and pink dungeree suit.

After an exciting 3 days living in a transparent plastic cot on wheels, she came home with her parents. She now has her own cot, where she entertains friends and has tea with the neighbours.

She likes to eat and sleep, in that order, and says "Waah!" when she's hungry.

She has an extensive wardrobe of exciting clothes that are all fashionably rather too large. We find her with white body, dungarees with a printed design, and tom-boyish blue socks.

You can see she has just explained a rather complex plan to capture super terrorist Baby Y. After such detailed intellectual efforts she would usually be requiring additional milk.

When you are 4 days old it's hard to hold a busy career together with consuming 8 meals a day, and an unpredictable sleep schedule.

However, she pulls it off with aplomb, not even having to stop for a toilet break due to a cunning underwear arrangement supplied by Pampers.

In a rare moment of fun, Baby X relaxes whilst mystery mummy-hands play rubba-tippy-toe-bounce-bounce-bounce.

A table leg that could be mistaken for fancy headgear may clearly be seen by the more acute viewer, together with a rather marvellous new stripey floor mat.

Once the fun is over it's back to work for the aspiring mystery baby, and one of the daily chores is a regular briefing for your father.

Here we see Baby X deriding daddy for believing that the illegal Bath-Time Separatist sect do not have Biological Yogurt for their tea.

Daddy is, however, head of the kitchen sterilisation laboratory, so it's best not to rub him up the wrong way too much.

Baby X will shortly be touring the empire with her parents, but until then she is available for interviews through the usual channels. And for more pictures, see Baby X's first adventure, Baby X gets a name, and Baby X starts a new career.